Fucking telemarketers piss me off! Automated or not, I find it just as obnoxious.
Now, I get that people are often just doing their job and maybe it was the only job they could get but I have completely run out of fucks to give. Today I have had at least 4 automated calls regarding PPI and pensions, at least one after I had already requested to unsubscribe from the service, and at least 3 people calling me. In 5 minutes I had two calls from the same blame claim company ‘regarding my road accident in the last three years’. I had one of these last night and told them I was pretty sure they were looking for Mr Gofuckyourself but it seems they haven’t got the message.
So, the first of the two (these people actually have my name so thanks whoever sold them my details) just got my usual response of ‘Go fuck yourself’ but when my phone rang again only minutes later I was somewhat annoyed. It went something like this:
Teletwat: Hello can I please speak to Mr FwF?
Me (annoyed): Speaking
Teletwat: I’m calling regarding your road accident in the last three years that wasn’t your fault.
Me: What road accident are you referring to?
Teletwat: The road accident that wasn’t your fault and because the other driver was at fault some money has actually been put aside for you.
Me: Which accident, describe it to me, because unless you can tell me which accident you mean, you’re talking shit.
Teletwat: there’s no need to swear, sir.
That’s where you’re wrong, Teletwat. There is plenty of reason to fucking swear! I’m sick of these cunts wasting my valuable time with their shit. All blame claims companies are scum to start with but the fact that they so strongly encourage people to file frivolous law suits sickens me.
As it happens, I did have a road accident on the 1st of November 2011 when I locked the back wheel of my motorbike and got run over by a truck. In February of 2012, not long after I’d regained the ability to walk without crutches, I got a letter through telling me I was being sued by the truck driver to compensate him for soft tissue damage and muscle pain. Apparently the poor dear had to take a week off work. Bear in mind, the back six inches of my 200 kg bike clipped the front of his 44+ ton truck, there was no damage to the vehicle and he said at the scene he never even felt it, which he repeated to my boss when he visited my work to see if I was ok on the evening of the accident.
I can only assume that someone encouraged him to make that claim. Of course, he really sued my insurance company but it was my name on the suit. Adding insult to injury, his description of the accident on the suit was mostly fictional and painted me as if I was riding dangerously which I certain was not. The police would have done me if I had! I begged my insurance company not to pay but I bet they did to avoid court. Cowards.
And that’s the problem. People file these frivolous, opportunistic suits and the insurance companies just pay, because it’s easier. Then all our premiums go up. It’s a fucking disgrace.
I think I’ll buy a whistle. Lets see how well they can make calls with busted ear drums.